So far, in Paris, Lauren has:
a) Been stabbed by a staple hidden in a blanket at our hostel (no worries, we got a refund and moved to an AirBNB near the Eiffel Tower. The wound got a bit infected though, so I had to use my first aid skills to patch her up…bright side – she is up to date on her tetanus shot!);
b) Nearly been run over by a car (like within a few inches. If the driver hadn’t stopped, Lauren would have been roadkill);
c) Hit her head three times (resulting in what we now think is a concussion because she is disturbingly sick at the moment. Bright side – she can now say she puked off of the Alexander III Bridge 😅);
d) Was so delirious from the concussion that she tripped over a concrete block near the Eiffel Tower and had a glorious, horrible fall that scrapped up her knee and hand (more first aid, yay!)
In summary: Paris is trying to kill Lauren.
PS Dad – Lauren may be dead by the time we leave tomorrow, but I’m still alive – don’t worry.